The Museum of Jurassic Technology and Hurriquake Potato Soup

A supposedly quirky thing Kristen will never do again.

Look, it’s hard for me to leave the house. We know this. I’m not who I was pre-2020. These days–and especially living in LA–if I’m going out, I have to make a plan, reschedule that plan once or twice, finally execute the plan, and then finish the night by saying, “Oh my god. We have to do this again.” Well, folks, there is one thing I am never doing ever again. And that is: going to the Museum of Jurassic Technology.

Sahar invited me out. She’d heard good things, and so had I! “Quirky and weird!” “A Culver City institution!” “Don’t look up anything about it before you go!” Naturally, we first had to reschedule two times. Finally, one month later, we found ourselves–on the eve of a historic Southern California hurricane–standing inside a too small, un-air conditioned, crowded museum, and wondering when enough time had passed for us to leave. 

There’s a reason people tell you not to look up anything about the Museum of Jurassic Technology before you go. It’s because it sucks. 

The Museum was created in 1988 by David Hildebrand Wilson, a recipient of the MacArthur Genius Grant (they just hand them out, I think) and his wife Diana. The place is filled with various ephemera–bizarre, faux-historic, semi-scientific objects. After an exhibit or two–and after giving up on reading the placards in the too-dark space–you understand that this place is a hoax. It’s satire. A museum about museums. When you get the joke, you realize you and the $12 you spent to get inside are the punchline. 

The problem is, the joke isn’t funny enough and the exhibits aren’t interesting enough. It smells like a joke, but it’s so dry, nothing elicits a laugh. Looking at an animal skeleton behind a case, I whispered to Jason, “It’s like if Ripley’s was just Believe It.” And by the way, someone will read this and think I’m a philistine, and fuck it, I am. I’ve had significantly more fun at the Myrtle Beach Ripley’s Believe it or Not. The only sincere moment of joy I felt the entire time was when I saw a pigeon wander into the tearoom upstairs. 

Sahar and I were joined by our husbands and our friend Mathan, and thankfully everyone hated it as much as I did, so we all retreated together for dinner and drinks at Father’s Office, which Jason kept calling Daddy’s Business. As hurricane clouds began to roll in, we tried to come back to earth together, the way you try to level yourself after seeing a car wreck or a dead possum. 

The thing none of us could get past was how many clearly first dates were happening at the Museum. Who takes a first date to some place like this? Are both people surprised by it together? Is one in on the joke and the other wondering why they’ve been dragged here? My friend Ashley said it must be on a list of “Crazy Cool LA First Date Ideas,” and it turns out she was correct, as usual. Frankly, there should be a class action suit against this list. A lot of people who were perfect for each other probably went to the Museum of Jurassic Technology and never saw each other again.

Daddy’s Business Father’s Office was great, though, and I will go there again, probably after visiting one of the many, massive furniture stores nearby, where I will test out all the chairs and not buy anything. Now that is a perfect date.

Because I don’t want to inject just negativity into your inbox, I’m going to leave you with a recipe for potato soup. It’s perfect for a hurricane or an earthquake or, as was the case on Sunday, a combination hurricane earthquake.

Hurriquake Potato Soup:

6 slices of bacon
1 onion, diced
6 cloves of garlic, minced
5 Tbsp flour
5 cups chicken broth
4 large baking potatoes, diced (about an inch)
8 oz cheese (sharp cheddar, colby, or monterey jack), shredded
¾ cup milk
½ cup heavy cream

Fry bacon in a heavy bottom pot. Pull out when crisp and set aside to top the soup when serving. Saute diced onion and garlic in the bacon fat until translucent. Add flour and make a roux. Stir in broth and simmer. Season with plenty of salt and pepper. I add a little lemon juice here, because we have lemons and I toss a frozen ball of lemon juice in basically every soup I make these days.

Add the diced potatoes and cook until they’re soft and you can pierce them with a fork. Stir in shredded cheese, reserving just a little (or, let’s be real, adding more) to top when serving. Add milk and heavy cream. Taste for seasonings. Serve topped with cheese, bacon, and some chives if you’re feeling fancy. (I never am.)

Enjoy!