Monterey, Big Sur, and Paso Robles

Kristen and Jason take a road trip up Highway 1.

Before we moved to California, I had this idea of the two of us taking road trips, tossing our backpacks in the car, just driving where the road calls us. Obviously, that hasn’t happened. We do take road trips, but they are all very planned, we are never able to get out the door until it’s 3PM, and we pack everything from an opened bag of Smartfood (would be a shame to let it go stale) to three different kinds of sunscreen (pale, paler, palest).

But last week, we really did it! Not the light packing part. We didn’t get on the road until 4PM and each of us had a suitcase, including the dog. Still, we had an open-ended plan: head north to Monterey and see what we see along the way. The only hard schedule item was the Monterey Bay Aquarium. You have to buy tickets in advance, and also, I got excited enough about it to watch a YouTube video about the place. Then another. Then twenty more. Eventually, I had a map in my mind of the place, as well as an insider’s knowledge about which fish to see when and which fish could get fucked.

Here is a list of things we did that were completely unplanned, but that I can’t wait to do again: 

• Ate barbecue at Old San Luis BBQ Co.

Obviously, coming from North Carolina, I’m a pain in the ass about BBQ. It’s annoying, and I know no one appreciates it. Recently, very dear friends–the kind of friends who would show up to our house in the middle of the night if we needed them–brought mustard-based Carolina Gold sauce to a BBQ party, and my bitchy ass could not stop myself from saying that this was South Carolina sauce, the sauce of a lesser Carolina. But the BBQ at Old San Luis is delicious! A friend recommended the tri tip, but they were sold out. (Remember, we left LA at 4pm.) But we ordered pulled pork and smoked chicken sandwiches, and they were both so juicy. 

• Saw the elephant seals in San Simeon at the Piedras Blancas Rookery.

The viewing area in San Simeon is a free, easily-accessible way to see elephant seals. They can grow up to 16 feet long, weigh 5000 pounds, and stink worse than anything you’ve ever smelled. Different times of year afford different sightings. We were there for the female molting season. They lounge in the sand, barking and living their best seal lives. The males arrive to do the same in July. I loved this. All of nature was out, by the way. We watched an adorable baby ground squirrel for a while. Then we watched that same adorable ground squirrel get picked up, split apart, and eaten by a seagull. 

I would definitely go back to the Rookery, but only in the middle of winter. For one thing, that’s pupping season, and that has to be so cute. For another, I mean it when I say they stink. I made it about 15 minutes before my face broke out into a sweat and I started gagging.

• Visited Peachy Canyon Winery, a pet-friendly winery in Paso Robles.

This was an unexpected gem. A gorgeous, unpretentious winery that welcomes dogs in their outside tasting courtyard. We didn’t have a reservation, but they were still so generous with their time, and the wine was incredible. We bought two bottles at the start of the road trip and then two more on the way home. On the second trip, I used their bathroom and their candle smelled so good. I saw they were selling it, but I didn’t want to leave their bathroom and immediately be like, “I have to buy your bathroom candle.” So I got in the car with my dignity, but then Jason said, “How good was that candle?” And we drove away, just absolutely full of regret. We have to go back for a longer trip to Paso Robles and also… the candle.

• Drove Big Sur. 

On Tuesday, we drove up from the south to the part of Highway 1 that’s closed due to rockslides.

On Thursday, we drove down from the North. Big Sur is otherworldly, and photos don’t do it justice. It was spectacular, and Jason was terrified by the winding cliffs the whole time. We were so tired from our second day in Big Sur, we picked up take out clam chowder from a place we loved the day before, ate it in bed, and went to sleep at 8:30pm. A glorious day. 

And finally, the one thing we planned: 

• Peeped the fish at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. 

There’s a reason this place is so beloved. It’s a world class aquarium with all the favorites: turtles, sharks, otters, jellyfish, penguins. It’s incredible. We fell in love with a penguin who stood alone in the corner of her exhibit, looking extra fluffy and pissed.

It turned out this was Elizabeth, she was molting, and yes, this made her extra fluffy and grumpy. I’m realizing we saw so many women molting last week!

The aquarium was also absolutely slammed. We saw all of humanity that day. While I was in the bathroom, I listened to a woman at the sink begging her son to stop eating the soap. As we watched the penguins, another kid ran and had an absolute meltdown. His mom asked, “Do you need break?” He wailed… “I NEED A BREAK.” And the place had only been open for thirty minutes, but like… I understood him. I really did. 

Overall, this road trip was 10/10. We came, we saw, we ate the last of our week-old Smartfood, and it didn’t go stale.

This week, I don’t have a recipe, but I do have a recommendation. It’s the clam chowder from Vivolo’s Chowder House in Pacific Grove.

The chowder so nice, we ate it twice

I had mine topped with Dungeness crab. Did you know that the only thing better than clam chowder is clam chowder plus another shellfish? It’s true. Comforting, savory, decadent. I can’t recommend this chowder enough. They also offer it in a bread bowl, which we didn’t order, because as a fat person, I often feel like I’m out there repping for the fats, and I just feel like there are things we’d be unfairly judged for doing in public and eating soup out of bread is one of them.